Well that`s it. Nana has passed on to be with Pop.

I was sitting there waiting for Stick to come back from talking to her friend, at the motel. She text me around 10:30pm and told me she was on her way back, and I let Nana know. Her breathing was shallow, and not so rhythmatic. Sometimes she would be really shallow, and then she`d take a big breath and then she wouldn`t take one in for ages. She was making lots of sighs/moans like she was having a dream too, so when she did, I let her know that I was there.

She made some more moans, this time several in a row, and seemed to be a bit more agitated. I was falling asleep in the chair, and I turned to her and told her I was there. Her right eye was half open which was weird because she hadn`t attempted to open her eyes before. I told her that I was there, and after a bit, told her that I`d like it if she closed her eye because it was a little freaky for me. As I was there, I was thinking, “hurry up Stick, hurry up.” Then she took in this big breath and let out a big moan, and then didn`t take another one. I had a feeling wash over me, starting from my tummy, and moving up through my head. I knew that was it.

I grabbed my phone [time 11.00pm] and opened it up to call Stick, then thought she might be already in the hallway, and she was when I stepped out. I couldn`t say anything, so gestured for her to run. I had burst into tears, and Stick sprinted down the hallway (Nana`s room was right at the end of the ward). Stick just held onto me, and the nurses came in to check Nana. They told us that she hadn`t quite gone, but when people get like they take very shallow breaths. She still had a weak pulse. Stick and I sat with her, and Stick held her hand, thanking Nana for everything she`d done for us, and telling her to let go. I moved to the end of the bed, and I that feeling washed over me again, and I knew that she`d passed on. I said to Stick “I think she`s gone”. Just at the moment J@zz called me, because he was off to bed. I managed to get out that Nana had died, and I was so grateful that he stayed on the end of the line listening to me cry.

I rang Charlie and Stretch, and Stick rang PapaSproke, so he could ring MamaSproke. Stick was saying “I should have been here sooner.”I told her she had perfect timing. She then told me that the person on the after hours buzzer wasn`t going to let her in. Stick was really angry about that.

I went to get the nurses in to check her pulse, and they said that there wasn`t one there. Stick just held onto Nana`s hand. The house surgeon came in about half an hour later to check Nana`s vital signs, and we were shipped out into the waiting room. He came back, and let us go back in, and we sat with her until near on 12pm. The nurses came in and told us that they would have to lay her out straight. I told them that we were ready to leave anyway. Vicky said goodbye, and I kissed Nana on the forehead and said goodnight.

I`d texted all my close friends and told them that Nana had gone, and greeny called me to make sure that I was all right. I felt sad, but I did kinda feel all right, because I`d been there, and was with Nana when she passed over to the other world. Kies and Whitelie texted me, and made sure that I was good too. I had a cigarette (which I told J@zz I was having) and then Stick and I stayed up till about 1am, just talking about Nana and having coffee and stuff.

Tags: Death, Life Stuff