• @allyn thank you for the margaritas! #
• It's funny seeing the traffic trying to get on the motorway and knowing the jam is my boyfs fault #
• Omg my boyf just flipped his car &trailer with derby car on the motorway. He's fine btw, i'm more worried! #
• People who drive up mt vic need to learn the road rules. *Up hill* traffic has right of way #
• Mt Vic fair nothing too spectacular but nice to be out in the sun #
• I <3 this: Pirate wedding! http://offbeatbride.com/2009/12/florida-pirate-wedding#more-3872 @galadarling #
• The end of a long week. Instead of a crazy Friday night, I'm sitting at home watching Top Model, and Idol. This is sad. So is my headache #
• @keanechan Yay! WordPress is awesomeness! in reply to keanechan #
• I am so so tired. I don't want today to happen. It's raining which means children will be nuts and stuck indoors. #
• @house_monkey I just asked it "Does the magic 8 ball lie" It's response…. "Definitely" !!!! Te awesome! in reply to house_monkey #
• Life is at crossroads. I don't know which path to go down. Please, someone, send me a sign! #
• @galadarling have you thought about getting Belledangle (i think) jewellery hanger? They're fantastic #
• Right, no sleep lst nite means I need to start my day on a coffee -oh wait… I dont drink that. Redbull it is. Life changes are unsettling #
• @thomasbeagle That's not a bad thing in reply to thomasbeagle #
• @thomasbeagle Now you look like Neo in reply to thomasbeagle #
• Apparently there's a bid to have pole dancing an Olympic sport #
• @thomasbeagle Just saw your 1 line of interview. Guessing they edited? Or did I miss it's original air time? in reply to thomasbeagle #
• Another fire in the hutt hills. Closer to my place this time #
• I didn't get my dream job #
• Didn't find out about the job. She called me while I was working, and when I called back they were closed *sigh* Try again today #
• Should find out whether I get that job today. Then I found a 1brm house I want to buy! #

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I heard from the job that I really wanted on Wednesday.  I didn’t get it.  She said it was because they wanted someone older – then hastily added “experience older, not age older” and I thought ‘oh yeah okay, that’s what you meant’. So I’m pretty gutted.

The interview and response has shaken my confidence, especially since this centre is one I’ve wanted to work at, or do a teaching experience at since I was at university.

There isn’t much around in terms of positions in places I want to work.  I could stay where I am on a permanent basis, but the truth is, the whole company feeling really isn’t any better than the other two main franchise childcare companies in New Zealand, even though it only has 3 centres.  Policy and higher management doesn’t lean itself to creating the atmosphere that I would crave to work at. I can already feel myself not wanting to work there and I’ve only been there for four weeks.  The difficulty is, I’ve worked for this company before, and if nothing has changed in the two years since I worked there, then nothing is going to change while I am there.  It’s a head = brick wall company.

I guess the sort of position I want, is something that’s going to challenge me, and help me to extend my team leader skills.  I’ve been in advisory/manager roles before and delivered professional development to teams and families.  I just want something that’s permanent. I want to be with a company that values their teachers, challenges their teachers, and that has an enthusiastic, passionate team.  And I want to be in a place where I think “yeah, I want to go to work”. I mean sure, even passionate, enthusiastic people say “blergh I just don’t want work today”, but generally, day in and out I love my career, and I love my children, and I love trying my hardest to provide the best environment for them to grow and learn.

If only I had another $10-15k then I could buy a property and start my own business with Bambi, and then I could have everything the way *I* want it (yes, I know, there’s always hardships etc etc).

The next difficulty is, I feel I can’t really move forward until I get a job. I want to live in Wellington, but I don’t want to be travelling to the Hutt every day for work.  Renting feels like a huge waste of money, and buying a place in Welly really is just out of my reach at the moment (not to mention not having the full-time job).  Buying a place in the Hutt would be worth it, if that property would translate into future business premises.  So, round and round in circles it is.  I’m feeling a little bit stagnant in my goals at the moment.

If I work for ‘the man’ I want something exciting and challenging.  If I want to work with Bambi, we need a leg-up, and that wouldn’t happen in the short term anyway, but that would make working for a less challenging company bearable because I would be working on a future goal.

It really is a waiting game. It sucks that I’m an impatient person (except when working with the children lol). I really am over relieving.  I want some stability in my career path.

Current Mood: anxious

• @house_monkey No photos – I've left my camera in the Naki! Do'h! Was a beautiful night, the water was lovely!! in reply to house_monkey #
• Breaker bay now. Woodstock, ferries, watching the beautiful stars. No more skinny dipping for the moment. #
• Wo! skinny dip at scorching bay. I've already been in. Waters warm. Who's in? #
• Bumper sticker: "vegetarian". An old indian word for "lousy hunter" #
• Man, I suck at keeping up with my social calender. I was supposed to go to a party tonight. I plum forgot. Damn. *headdesk* #
• @jennitalula please give lee my apologies. I possibly wont b able to come coz of being sick this week &i'm still tired #
• Its time for the flat hunt to begin. Anybody in town need a flatmate? (Yes, for those who know me, I *am* considering flatting with others) #
• Is getting excited about #Backstreet_Boys concert in #Auckland … front row ticket baby! Oooh yea!! #
• @mundens Haven't caught up yet… that's my homework for tonight in reply to mundens #
• BTW did I mention that I'm now the proud owner of Issues I, II, & III of @filamentmag ? #
• Interview went reasonably well. Hopefully i pulled it off. #
• Wish me luck boys and girls. About to go for am interview #
• Wow. Since sunday night, i've slept 24Hrs #
• Morphoes doesn't suit CSI character. It just doesn't work for me #
• What a day. The only thing i've done is use the toilet and sleep- i've slept 17 hrs since last night #
• @mundens @Adrexia and is only of use to those people who don't get attention the other 364 days of the year #

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I met up with Ants today after work. We sat in some cafe, and we talked. It was good to talk.

The topics ranged from how work was going for each of us, to Burger King’s Hershey’s pie. We also talked about what happened between us. It was scary to bring that topic up. I also commented on how slim he’s become. I’m proud of him for looking after his body. That’s something that deep down, always concerned me (as he did used to be a rather big fellow – as did I). Walking up hills every day is helping a lot. Good work Ampony.

We managed to talk about the hurt, and the fact that during our time together we had taken each other for granted, and we both didn’t work as hard at our relationship as we could have. We knew what we had planned in our lives for the next few years, breaking up wasn’t even considered in that plan. Ants said that when looking back, he recognises what the signs were now. Hindsight.  I told him that I knew at the time what the signs were, but I chose to ignore them because I wanted him to be my husband.

I got to show Ants my new car. I gave him a lift home, and he showed me where he was living now (although I knew coz I’d been there after Kapcon a couple of years ago).  On the drive home, I unconsciously breathed a big sigh. He noticed, and commented.
“Just a lot on my mind, you know?” I said.
“Yeah, I know” he replied.
I gave him a squeeze on his arm. I don’t know whether he appreciated that or not. But I did. In the end, I still care deeply for this man that I’ve shared so much of my life with.

Once again I had that weird feeling of ‘this is the person that I used to console when he was feeling down, but this is… different’.

One of the reasons that I wanted to meet with him, just the two of us was so that our first meeting wasn’t an awkward one at somebody’s party, or somebody’s house.  The good thing is, we did okay.  We’re not bestest buddies, and that’s okay too. But we’re on good terms. Neither of us are going to be uppity (?) about the friends we share.  That’s also a great thing.  And that’s the thing that I wanted to achieve tonight. Some questions answered, some issues resolved, and a place for each of us to start moving forward.

When dropping him home, I yoinked  some of my CDs he’d stolen. Then he gave me a hug. It was a nice hug. I appreciated that.

Current Mood: optimistic & peaceful

Interviews always make me nervous. It’s good, however, when you can get some positive support from meeting your boyf in town before the interview!

I interviewed tonight for a Senior Teacher (or team leader) position at a childcare centre.  This one is very well established, and follows the Reggio approach – a way of observing and interpreting children’s learning and development that I have been interested in learning more in-depth for some time.  The team leader position would help me to develop my leadership skills.

I was met by one of the Senior Teachers from another room who showed me the centre.  It was beautiful.  Most of their resources were natural (i.e. not much plastic) and they have heated floors (something I think is essential in the winter, especially for non-mobile infants) and it all looked so clean and tidy.  The only thing I didn’t like was that they had high-chairs, signalling to me that they have not yet looked at the Pikler/RIE approach with their infants and toddlers.

I was then met with a panel of three teachers who spent from just after 6pm to nearly 8pm talking with me.  I was extremely nervous, and felt that I couldn’t answer a couple of questions properly.  However, I don’t feel that I did too badly.  There were 14 main questions all up, coupled with extra questions added in here and there.

I’m so excited for this role.  In fact, I’d be happy to be in a regular teaching position at this centre, just because of the opportunities for challenge and learning there would be.

Fingers crossed!!

Current Mood: bouncy & nervous

• Didn't sleep well last night, so force myself to go for a run. As sore today from pole dance. Stupid or wise? #
• Yay for margies party! Caught up with loads of friends whom i haven't seen in months/years. Again, again! #
• Yay! Dancing madness! Not as poor strength as thought, but still work to do. Cant do routine, but knew spins #
• Yay, it's friday, and i'm going back to pole fitness (aka pole dancing) class tonight! How excitement! #
• Tee hee hee. The teachers have swapped names & we're confusing & tricking the children. Just call me Phil #
• The only problem with an uber large mug of herbal tea, is that it takes uber long to steep #
• Ooo scrapbooking store has taken my money. But $110 for 2x d-ring albums in covers seems like a good deal #
• So… the flat hunt begins *sigh* I'd forgotten how dreary this process is. Why can't I just buy a house?! #
• After two years of a very slim social life, I'm pleased to see my diary is filing up fast. I better book in my bday b4 I miss out! #
• So my ph is trying 2 live. The bcklite flickers hard out. Guess that's what you get for a 30 quid ph #
• @mr_orgue are you *trying* to show your age? #
• It appears my phone is dying #
• Best afternoon evar… Beautiful sun, pants rolled up, running around with the hose &having water fights. Yessss! #
• Did someone say something about having a weekend? I know i didn't work for 2 days, but boy i feel like i did! #

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• Mmm fresh fruit &veg from the markets, plus roti & fejoa+ tamarind pickle. My boyfriend spoils me #
• Having a fantastic time at japanese places, with too many ppl to @ but i love you all #
• Yay, morning tea &half way thru the day. Finishing early today. Have spent morning cleaning wooden blocks #
• RT: Attn: drinks @ Hashigo Zake after work friday 2 catch up with @sproke + celebrate Lee & @jennitalula 4 yr wedding annivers. See u there? #
• RT: Attn: drinks at Hashigo Zake after work friday to catch up with @sproke + celebrate Lee and @jennitalula 4 yr wedding anniversary. S … #
• @jennitalula @sallymclennan @mundens moar is bedder. #
• @mundens @jennitalula @sallymclennan #Hashigo_Zake_Friday Anything happening, We making plans? call me vodafone 8 three 7 seven 1 five in reply to mundens #
• @jennitalula The other day in #Rotorua had 2x boy racers blasting 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'! in reply to jennitalula #
• @mundens Hashigo Zake Friday? Would you please enlighten me… Or though with your rep, not sure i want to know #
• @mundens nao! I'm a party girl! I want a welcome home party! You organising? Lol! #
• @mundens well where's my party at au? #
• We're free. Bet we won't be able to go far though #
• Wow, first day at work. Armed gunman on the loose- we are not allowed to leave #
• Yes! 3/4Ihr lunch breaks mean i get time for a walk. #
• First day relieving going well. Miss my Rotorua children. #
• Hello wellington. I am home. #

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