I heard from the job that I really wanted on Wednesday.  I didn’t get it.  She said it was because they wanted someone older – then hastily added “experience older, not age older” and I thought ‘oh yeah okay, that’s what you meant’. So I’m pretty gutted.

The interview and response has shaken my confidence, especially since this centre is one I’ve wanted to work at, or do a teaching experience at since I was at university.

There isn’t much around in terms of positions in places I want to work.  I could stay where I am on a permanent basis, but the truth is, the whole company feeling really isn’t any better than the other two main franchise childcare companies in New Zealand, even though it only has 3 centres.  Policy and higher management doesn’t lean itself to creating the atmosphere that I would crave to work at. I can already feel myself not wanting to work there and I’ve only been there for four weeks.  The difficulty is, I’ve worked for this company before, and if nothing has changed in the two years since I worked there, then nothing is going to change while I am there.  It’s a head = brick wall company.

I guess the sort of position I want, is something that’s going to challenge me, and help me to extend my team leader skills.  I’ve been in advisory/manager roles before and delivered professional development to teams and families.  I just want something that’s permanent. I want to be with a company that values their teachers, challenges their teachers, and that has an enthusiastic, passionate team.  And I want to be in a place where I think “yeah, I want to go to work”. I mean sure, even passionate, enthusiastic people say “blergh I just don’t want work today”, but generally, day in and out I love my career, and I love my children, and I love trying my hardest to provide the best environment for them to grow and learn.

If only I had another $10-15k then I could buy a property and start my own business with Bambi, and then I could have everything the way *I* want it (yes, I know, there’s always hardships etc etc).

The next difficulty is, I feel I can’t really move forward until I get a job. I want to live in Wellington, but I don’t want to be travelling to the Hutt every day for work.  Renting feels like a huge waste of money, and buying a place in Welly really is just out of my reach at the moment (not to mention not having the full-time job).  Buying a place in the Hutt would be worth it, if that property would translate into future business premises.  So, round and round in circles it is.  I’m feeling a little bit stagnant in my goals at the moment.

If I work for ‘the man’ I want something exciting and challenging.  If I want to work with Bambi, we need a leg-up, and that wouldn’t happen in the short term anyway, but that would make working for a less challenging company bearable because I would be working on a future goal.

It really is a waiting game. It sucks that I’m an impatient person (except when working with the children lol). I really am over relieving.  I want some stability in my career path.

Current Mood: anxious

Interviews always make me nervous. It’s good, however, when you can get some positive support from meeting your boyf in town before the interview!

I interviewed tonight for a Senior Teacher (or team leader) position at a childcare centre.  This one is very well established, and follows the Reggio approach – a way of observing and interpreting children’s learning and development that I have been interested in learning more in-depth for some time.  The team leader position would help me to develop my leadership skills.

I was met by one of the Senior Teachers from another room who showed me the centre.  It was beautiful.  Most of their resources were natural (i.e. not much plastic) and they have heated floors (something I think is essential in the winter, especially for non-mobile infants) and it all looked so clean and tidy.  The only thing I didn’t like was that they had high-chairs, signalling to me that they have not yet looked at the Pikler/RIE approach with their infants and toddlers.

I was then met with a panel of three teachers who spent from just after 6pm to nearly 8pm talking with me.  I was extremely nervous, and felt that I couldn’t answer a couple of questions properly.  However, I don’t feel that I did too badly.  There were 14 main questions all up, coupled with extra questions added in here and there.

I’m so excited for this role.  In fact, I’d be happy to be in a regular teaching position at this centre, just because of the opportunities for challenge and learning there would be.

Fingers crossed!!

Current Mood: bouncy & nervous

I have been without constant internet lately.  This makes me sad, and behind in my posts.  I am attempting to write them in word, with thoughts of coming into work with my laptop and putting everything online. Sadly this doesn’t seem to be happening just yet. Mostly because Ants brought me Dollhouse S2, and I’ve watched the first four episodes. All I can say is yay for BSG!! It’s exciting seeing my old fave actors.  I’m just wondering how many of them will be cylons lol

Work is going well, I have to conduct appraisals in two weeks, which I’m a little freaked about. Oh well, there’s a first for everything.  At least I didn’t have to put together the format or anything.

Living on my own is going reasonably well, except I don’t know enough things to cook to keep me interested, however Ants discovered that I have a crock-pot, which is really great because my two little element hot plate thing just doesn’t get hot enough.  Also it might make a difference to my addiction to cornthins + vegemite + whatevers in the cupboard.  I live realitvely close to one of the main gysers at the entrance to Rotovegas, and it’s surprising how the smell changes. I went to put my washing out last night, and it smelt like someone had taken a dump on my doorstep.  Other days it’s quite pleasent.  Hopefully it’s more pleasent than not.

Ants started his new job today.  I’m so excited for him.  He’s thinking of joining the social soccer team, which I would be really happy if he did.  I’m not the team-player sort, so I will just stick to trying to do walking and yoga.  Ants has done really well to get back to his pre-NZ weight before we left the UK… I on the other hand am going a little backwards in that respect.  Must work harder… 15 months until wedding.

We haven’t made any plans in that respect.  We’re still leaning towards having it at my parents place, but we’re not 100% certian yet, which is funny because I always thought that I would want to have it there, but now I’m just not sure.  I think it’s partly because my parents are thinking retiring to town, and if they want to do that soon, then I will be holding up their plans.  Who knows?

Right, well off that note, I shall go home and do some cooking.  Miss you all. Oh, I have a spare bed if anyone wants to come stay in Rotorua.  I’d be keen to go Zorbing again!

Current Mood: bored

Anthony and I travelled to Rotorua yesterday, via Bulls, and a very nice kebab with Kylie.  The trip took 7 hours, which included that stop and also driving in the torrental rain which made us go slower. However, dinner was waiting for us when we got there.

Today was my first day at work.  My alarm didn’t go off, so Janjo woke me at ten to 7am.  Not fun, because I had to leap out of a warm Ampony-bed, and make him get up and make my breakfast while I hurridly showered.

Janjo took me in and dropped me off at work.  I was quite nervous.  I had to remember the names of the staff that I’d met already (which I did poorley) and start to learn the children’s names, as well as some of their routines.  I didn’t do too bad.  I had difficulty saying “I’m the acting manager” to parents who I introduced myself too, so instead I was saying that I was covering [manager name] while she was away.

It felt weird to only have a half hour break, especially after working in the UK and taking roughly between an half an hour to an hour, and having reasonably flexiable hours.  I used to like being able to get out of the centre and having a walk after eating, but with half an hour, I don’t really have time.

I also felt weird when the admin lady was telling me bits and pieces about the running of the centre, and I’m so used to playing a ‘reliever’ or ‘support but not interfer with the running’ that it was odd and I felt like I was being told too much information lol,  so I have to get used to that.

Other than that, the day flew by.  I’ve already spoken to the Centre Manager about a couple of things that she wants me to start to implement, and I said to her that I wouldn’t do anything that she wouldn’t be happy carrying through when she got back.  So that’s a win.  Not right now, but in the next month or so, I’m going to start introducing the idea of Primary Caregiver (or Key Person – depending on which country you’re from and see how that goes.

My Ampony was there when I got home, which was lovely to be able to talk to him about my first day.  He’s going home tomorrow, which I’m not looking forward to.  But we got to have a lovely curry that Janjo made

Current Mood: anxious

Weather: crap
Current obsession: how to get out of doing my application

Well, today I spent all day doing my application for the job I went to have a look at on Friday. It took me all day. I was talking to Ants while I was doing it, and he was giving me good advice. I have a tendency to write in essay format, and I do a very poor job at writing in ‘I am awesome in this way, and this is an example why I am awesome’.  I guess I need to look at that.

For dinner I went to Mammut (or Mammoth) shopping centre in Moskava tér and brought terrible things like bread, (which I thought was going to be sweet but wasn’t), chocolate (gooey almond flavour) and my roast beef and turkey wrap that I get most lunch times (mmm, yum).

Then it was back to the hostel to finish my application, which I did.  It was very difficult fitting in all my experience into a form.  My experience doesn’t really work that way, but I guess, it made me think what was important.

Anthony and I went through our budget last night and neither of us realised just how bad it was.  Despite applying for everything possible, Ants has been out of work for 16 weeks. Then I didn’t get the job which means I can’t expect to get paid for 16 weeks of the year for holidays (and schools don’t open, which means no chance of work).

So, the decision is, if Ants doesn’t get a decent paying job by the end of June, we’ll be leaving when our 6-month break clause comes up for this flat.

I’m mixed with emotions about coming home.  I miss New Zealand.  I miss the work environment (even with all the politics) and I miss the job security.  Working in the schools here really just isn’t my thing, day care is where I’m comfortable.  The thing I will be sad about is not having done all the travelling we wanted to do.  I would love to see Germany, Italy, Switzerland, Ireland and Scotland (and my friend Rowan who lives up there) before we leave, but it’s just not going to happen, because doing a trip out and about will kill what we have left of our bank account (and we do aim to come home with some money, which is why we’re thinking of bailing now).

The good thing is we could look at moving up our wedding date, and look at buying a house when the market is relatively good.

I guess more news will come when we’ve made a proper decision. At least at home I’d be able to get paid what I’m worth, with no question of whether my qualifications match (which they do, and they’re better than what is taught here, just people don’t seem to believe me that they match).

Current Mood: anxious

I’m pretty devastated.  Not surprised considering my performance, but dissapointed.

Current Mood: angry & depressed & distressed

So I completed the interview today.  I looked great, even though I didn’t feel it.  Nerves just took over, and I was shocking. My 10 minute presentation took me about 5 minutes, I couldn’t, for the life of me, talk about safeguarding children in a good way, and I stuffed up ‘how would you support inclusion’.  All simple, basic questions and I really stuffed them up.  It didn’t really help that I had 3 people on the interview panel that I knew, because it was more hard, and embarrassing for me.  I have to face them all tomorrow!

Anyway, if I get it, I get it.  If not, I might see what my options could be if I became a speaker or held discussion forums about child development for parents.  I really enjoyed what I did at work the other day with the parents, and I think I might be fairly good at it.  Also, I wouldn’t have to interview for it, coz I’d be  my own boss!

Current Mood: anxious

Work today was giving a presentation to 12 (or so) parents about brain development and attachment with their children.  The session went from 11:30-1:30, and parents were asking for it to go longer!  It was a very fulfilling presentation because I would go through a few points, and then someone would ask a question, and we’d have a wee discussion about that.  We covered so much, not just about brain development, but about how children move, why good nutrition is vital, talking talking talking to your child, slowing down your interactions, taking time to be with your child, behaviour guidance, as well as saying goodbye to your child before school.  We touched on so many different topics,  I hope I didn’t overwhelm them.  But in the end the parents were talking to the rest of the team, and were saying how wonderful the session was, and how they wanted more time!  It feels good to have that off my shoulders though – spent about 10 hours out of work time preparing it.

I’ve been pretty exhausted all week – have been really sick this week, and working on the presentation hasn’t helped (bed 11pm or later most nights).  Next thing to work on – preparing for my interview next Tuesday.  I have to do a 10 minute presentation, which I have 30 minutes to prepare. Fingers crossed.  I have to do some reading about some policies and strategic plans and such.

Tonight my Early Years Teacher collegue, Nelia and her husband Darnie came over for roast lamb, salad, roast potatoes and carrots.  They brought a Malborough wine, one I hadn’t tasted before, and enjoyed (I don’t usually enjoy wine).  They also brought dessert of healthy-living ice cream and berries.  Good job   It was lovely and relaxing, and it was great to have them over.  They also had a go at Guitar Hero – they need a bit of practise.

My parents arrive next Thursday.  I can’t wait to see them.  I’m so excited.  Ants and I have to vacate our bedroom while they’re here (though they’re not in London for that many days).  We’ve booked the car, and we’ll be doing a bit of driving around England.  Stopping at Liverpool first to do some of the Beatles things, then Ants will be joining us (he’ll be geeking that weekend and joining us later).  Then we’ll be off to Barrow-in-Furness for a couple of nights, hopefully seeing some of Mum’s relatives, and seeing where Mum grew up.  Then up to the Lake District, then we’ll see from there.  We’ve got 9 days to wander around.

Mmm, bed is calling me now.  Roast + sick = sleepy.  I hope to sleep for a long long time tonight.

Current Mood: accomplished

Well, it’s done.  I’ve spent probably about 10 hours on my application for this job (that I’m already doing through supply).  I’ve just hit the submit button.  I feel good – like I’ve just finished an assignment… with the length of it, it looks just like an assignment too.  Now I’ve just got to hope I get through the interview.

Here’s what I wrote about myself… as Jackie said “My name is Heidi. I am awesome. Let me list the ways that I am awesome… 1)… 2)… 3)…”

Read more…

Current Mood: anxious